it's the freakin' weekend, gonna have me some fun.

as we all know...i have been a great big bundle of boring
lately. however. yesterday i found a ladybug crawling
on my arm. at first my panic button went on as it
usually does when i see some type of insect crawling
upon me. and i also freaked because i believe that
ladybugs that aren't bright red are poisonous. but
then i quickly got excited because i thought...aren't
ladybugs good luck? or maybe i made that up? or
maybe someone else made it up and i've just been
running with the lie for years now. but yeahhh. i figured
maybe this ladybug came into my life to bring me luck.
to bring me that much needed inspiration i have been
searching for. so i decided to take a few pictures and
then send miss ladybug on her way in hopes that she
left me some good stuff!

i am actually rather excited. (and a big nerd)
brookem gave me a letter for the sweet
little abc game. or whatever it is called. ya'know...
she gave me a letter and i have to list ten things
i love that starts with the letter. yeah. i'm pretty
obsessed with weird games such as that. plus.
it gives me something write. and holla to that.
but all dayyyy...i have been very distracted by
this gorgeous baby. my dad and i are babysitting delaney...and she has been
quite a peach, i tell ya! i love everything about her.
which is probably normal for an aunt to say. she just smells
so good...and looks so cute...and eh. i could nibble on her
little fat cheeks all day long! too bad five seconds after
i took these pictures she woke up wailing her chubby head
off. so as pumped (and nerdy) as a i over the abc game...it will
just have to wait.

it will happen.

on friday i said that i was going
to come back on monday with
something inspirational.
something totally mind-blowing.
okay. maybe not mind-blowing...
but something along those lines.
however. my lack of a post on
monday probably goes to show
that i didn't find my inspiration
over the weekend. not even close.
sad, huh? yeah. i'd say so. i tried
digging deep. i tried to embrace in
all that was around me.
but mmm...nothing came my way
to light my fire. and the pure and utter
classiness of horsham's local dive
bar isn't exactly where one
should go to find their inspiration.
however. the company was most
fabulous! i also don't think any
inspiration sits in the hands of playing
rock band until 2o'clock in the
morning. even though our band was
totally amazing. but yeah. no inspiration.
perhaps a career change of wanting to
pursue my dreams of being a performer
crossed my mind...but other than that...
nothing.

my weekend was definitely wonderful...
just nothing to the extreme like i was
hoping.

see. i have always been able to find
something to write about. it always
came so easy to me. when a teacher
gave us the free reign to pick any
topic to write five pages on...i had a
notebook page full of ideas. while
all of my friends would be sitting
there struggling as to what to write...
how to put their random thoughts
down on paper...my little brain and
hand couldn't jot everything down
fast enough.

i want to find that girl.
find the girl that never had any problem
turning something so tiny into a
huge masterpiece. the girl that loved
to write because it was so natural. so
easy. it all just flowed.
i will find that girl.

laugh when you can.

the blogging world is such an
inspiration. seriously. when i
feel trapped for something to
write i know that i can always
count on reading something from
one of you that will tickle my brain
and give my fingers a push.

for instance...
i could write about what i believe
in just like kat did.
(plus-i haven't done that in awhile)
or i could write about my tmi like
brookem does. or start a blogging
challenge like sarahbelle has. or i
can do a giveaway like dana has going
on. (check it out!) i could talk about
how i am super excited for the oscars
like katelin. i could be like jamie
and lauren and tell you i'm getting married*
or ask for cheap ideas for a getaway
vacation. but sadly, marriage isn't
happening, and i don't see a tropical
location anywhere in my near future.
if only i had some sweet new blog design
to show off like britni or awesome
pictures to wow your socks off like
miss sophia. i don't have any great
stories about money like sarajane,
unless you count me not having any
as a great story.

see! look at all the material you girls
give me. it is a wonder that i ever
have trouble coming up with something
entertaining. but by golly. not working
and being stuck in my house all day
doesn't leave much room for my
own creativity to soar. and well. that
is just frustrating beyond belief.

so instead, i am going to say have
a killer weekend. which is exactly
what i intend on doing. i intend on
having a killer weekend...and returning
on monday with my very own ideas
and my very own inspiration. because
this weekend i hope for something to happen,
someone to cross my tracks, to walk
into some place that simply just lights
my fire like no tomorrow. that is what
i hope this weekend has in store for me.

what do you hope your killer weekend
has in store?


*jamie isn't really getting married. she's
just pretending.

because where would we be without them?

we all have certain friends in our
lives. friends that just make
life a little bit more worth while.
a little bit more crazy and ridiculous.
a little bit more sincere. friends
that you know you can count on for
anything. friends that won't judge you
if you tell them you ended up in some
random guys bed in the morning because
chances are, they did too. friends that
will talk listen to you
cry for hours when you just had your heart
broken into pieces and you're convinced you'll
never love again, or when your parents are
splitting up, or just simply when you're confused
with what you want in life. certain friends that
aren't afraid to tell you to snap out of it, grow up,
you're wrong, and that they really don't
like the top you're wearing.
(even though they know you're going to wear it anyway)

they are the kind of friends that will pick
you up when your car breaks down, you
need a ride home, you need to get out
of your house, or even the kind of friends that
will let you blow up an air mattress in their
room taking up all their floor space.

they are friends that you give your passwords
out to so they can check out peoples profiles
on facebook that you're not friends with. friends
that make cds for you with all your favorite songs.
certain friends that you're completely comfortable
with and have no shame telling them things
that most people would consider really weird.
friends that are there when you're hanging
your head out the window or in the toilet
to vomit.

we all have these certain friends.
the ones that make terrible, horrible
no good very bad days suck just a little
bit less.

*dedicated to shiloh...one of those certain friends.

he says one thing. i say another.

bloggers...meet christopher.
(if you click on his blog link...i apologize for his lack of creativity and entries-he is super lame)

chris is my friend. (despite what he might tell you)
and i am putting myself out on a limb here and
saying that i like chris a lot. in a non-sexual way of course.
he is a good guy regardless of how he may come across.
he is pretty smart and i maybe sometimes even laugh at his
ridiculousness. i know that chris always means well. or
at least almost always. none of this is the point though.

here is the thing. . .
chris believes that he can make
a relationship work with anyone.
anyone i tell ya'! and well. i'm calling his
bluff. because ahem...you can't just make
a relationship work. some people honest to goodness
do not mesh. not one single bit. do you not agree?

however. chris honest to goodness thinks
he can make a relationship work with anyone, it is just a
matter of whether or not he wants to. mmm?
i don't think it works like that, hotshot.
in fact. i'm positive that chris is wrong.

it makes me chuckle, actually. because chris is
the kind of person who i would expect to say,
"heck no. i could never date her." not...
"yeah. i could make a relationship with her. i just don't want to."


now i'm not saying that a person who
likes batman and a person who likes spiderman can't date
and be totally right for each other. because duh. obviously
differences are awesome. and obviously there are plenty
of relationships out there who are two people so in love that
had all the odds against them. i am just saying that there
are some people that shouldn't, eh, couldn't date. as an
example i told him that i was pretty sure that him and,
i'll call her fish, would never be able to be in a relationship.
and even though i am not by any means a relationship
expert...i can say that i know they just would be dumb
together. because they are two people who just wouldn't work out.
he disagreed. of course. because folks, chris
can make a relationship work with anyone.
or so he says.

now i know that none of you know the adorable
half-masked man above...but what do you all think?
do you think it is indeed possible for any two people
to date? or do you think there are some people who
just wouldn't work out together? i'm curious.
simply because i've been in dating modes with boys who
i liked oh so much and as badly as we both tried to make
it work...it just didn't. because we weren't right for
each other. we just didn't have the right chemistry.

tell me what you think, blogging world.
enlighten. . .

hire me. now. please.

i went through way too many
years of college to send out
resume after resume to not
hear back from anyone. i'm
seriously getting oh so tired
of this game. i've even branched
out from what i have the degree
in. something i claimed i would
never, ever do. yup. i swore to
not be one of those people that
got stuck in a job they didn't go
to school for. i went to an expensive,
by golly was it (still is...) expensive.
therefore. why in the world would
i not take something from it, right?

my degree is in english and
communication. my concentration
was the joys of journalism. and well...
i know the job market is stinking right
now...but come on! there has got to
be something out there for me. ugh.
i can't even tell you how many places
i have applied to. simply because i have
lost track. it is honestly that many. now
why oh why won't someone email me
back. call me and tell me they would like
me to come in for an interview? i don't
get it. sure. i might not have so much
experience. but i have some under my
belt. and i'd be great, i tell ya!

well. like i said. i have branched out.
i have been applying to non-profit
jobs. because i honest to goodness
love that kind of work. i was a social
justice minor for quite some time...but
ended up dropping it. so yeah. i wouldn't
mind, in fact i'd love, to get involved with
something along the non-profit line.
i'm all about doing the world good.
mmhmm. but ha. i can't manage one of
those jobs either. i'm unwanted. everywhere
i turn...everywhere i apply...nothing.
and ack. i need a job. i know i have said
it before...but i'm saying it again. because
i do. thank the lord i am still living
at home. otherwise, at this point...i would
have no money to pay rent...eat...or live.
so i'd be a homeless person on the streets.
and i'd stick out like a sore thumb...since
horsham isn't really filled with anything
homeless.

are you ladies all working in the
fields you went to school for? or
doing something you truly love? am
i going to have to turn to waitressing (boo)
in order to bring in cash money? i wish
that book i always think about
writing was written...sitting on
the shelves of barnes and noble and
on the best seller list. clearlyyy. or i
wish my mega acting talent was discovered
and i was getting ready to film my next
big blockbuster. mmm.

instead. i sit here clicking through the
job sites just hoping to stumble across
something that fits my fancy. or better
yet...something where i fit their fancy.

2009...you're supposed to be an
awesome year...and by awesome year...
i mean a year where i'm employed.
kay. thanks. i appreciate it.

i crave you most.

sometimes (all the time) i really
get cravings for the yummy
goodness that is pinkberry.



something about the delicious yogurt
sensation with the crazy toppings
just really makes me a happy gal.

my pinkberry of choice...
pomegranate flavor with
pomegranate seeds and fruity
pebbles and granola.

too bad i don't live in new york
yet. one day. one day. and when
that one day comes...i'll be able
to fulfill my pinkberry taste
whenever i very well please.

sunshine.

after a few days of being curled
up in bed...achy and terribly
vomity and gross...i am feeling
MUCH better. thanks for all
the well wishes, love bugs!


and just because i love quotes. . .

when the world says "give up",
hope whispers "try one more time"

i want to be like those girls in the movies and have a man so in love with them...it makes him drop to his knees.

you know how it is when you don't want to miss them, but you want them to miss you.

its not about butterflies in the first kiss, but that they're still there in the last.

i just think that some things are meant to be broken. imperfect. chaotic. it's the universe's way of providing contrast, you know? there has to be a few holes in the road. it's how life is.

because for me, it's always been you. always. and i've tried to fight it, and i've tried to deny it. but i can't--you're undeniable.

pacey, i wanted to see dawson tonight, not because for 4 months of my life he was my boyfriend. because for the better part of my life, he was my friend. and as my friend, i hurt him deeply. and living me with that fact has caused me no small amount of guilt over the past 3 months. so yes, i have been preoccupied. and it has made my mind wander. but my heart. that's a fixed point. 3 months of riding the open waters couldn't shake it. i'll be damned if i let your insecurities shake it. my heart never left this boat. it never left you. as far as i can see, it's not going to anytime soon.

joey: of all the people to see me like this, it had to be you.
pacey: you know, it's a new year. who knows? you and i might even become friends.
joey: pacey... i'm upset enough as it is.

you're the girl in the 19th century novel who would perversely refuse to marry for money no matter how much it would raise her station in life, the girl who would say yes, sleep on it...recover her moral principles, and then break the guy's heart the next morning, which, of course, only increases your appeal. principles are incredibly sexy, you know.

and just because i really love
dawsons creek. and because
i love joey and pacey. . .

blogging just for the sake of it.

i'm sick. as in mind-blowing (or nose blowing)
ill. i can't handle it. i can't stop
coughing. my throat is raw. my
head hurts from all the coughing.
all the sniffling. and ugh. i'm
over it. makes me sad. yes.
i'm sad over here. lying in bed
under my heating blanket
watching sabrina the teenage witch
with my box of tissues. ew.

anyways. i need a job. i really
truly do. what does it take
for a gal to get hired? if anyone
knows of any job openings in the
pa-nj-ny area...anything to do with
communications/publishing/non-profit
type of ordeal...let me know.
consider this my cry for help.

i'll give her a cool name.

okay. maybe i don't like animals.*
maybe i always say that i
will tell my children that zoos
are only in books. fictional. made
up. just so i never have to take
them to one.

but maybe today i ended up
falling in love with these adorable
creatures. . .





and maybe i wouldn't mind owning
one.



*i actually do love my puppy cuddles...
...but i don't know why the back half
of her body is chopped off in the picture.
mmm. crazy lil' maltipoo.